When do you become a writer? Is it when you are born or when you publish you first work? Perhaps it is when you find you own voice, a voice that reflects who you are rather than a mere imitation of others. As for me, I have always been a reader, a listener enchanted by the power of storytelling. The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde was my earliest memory of a book that inspired the writer in me.
For years, I wrote advertisements for clients, occasionally leaving a piece of myself in the work. But I knew that crafting something by formula to please others was not writing. The teenage angst-ridden poet composing bad poetry in their bedroom is not a writer, but perhaps one day they will be. The teams who write and re-write Hollywood blockbusters, re-working predecessors’ material in an endless pursuit of pleasing money men, who in turn second guess the desires of lowest common denominator audiences—do they consider themselves writers?
Art is a form of play that pleases oneself, but sometimes it is hard to distinguish where art begins and commerce ends. Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on commission to pay the rent.
To become a writer, one must write. For me, it was during the writing of an abandoned novel that I found my own voice. It was a gestation period that lasted a long time, with influences coming from music, poetry, and comics. These diverse fields gave me not only the tools of storytelling but also an attitude and an ideal for living. To write as myself, to be true to myself, to leave a legacy that can endure beyond myself.
My first published novel Exit was born out of this. It had my own voice, a voice that did not sound like Alan Moore, Anais Ninn, or Milan Kundera. It was a commitment, a story that only I could write, and if I didn’t, it would die with me.
When Exit was published, it felt bittersweet. If the book was my child, then I learned, as all parents must face, that a child does not belong to me, it must leave and belong to the world.
Postscript: A new updated edition of Exit is available to purchase online via Amazon and other good booksellers.